Yes, I am alive. The "kicking" part would be best described as liking to kick somebody(s). It has been hard for me to get to this blog over the last many weeks. It seems it is hard for me to do or accomplish anything, without great amounts of frustration, anger, or as is the case today...depression.
I'm sorry B, I should have gone with you. I would be in a much better state of mind.
I am living in a funk. I feel somewhat ostarcized in my own home. I am definitely put upon. I know I should be considerate, compassionate and turn the other cheek, but I am beginning to feel I have turned the other cheek so much I have turned myself inside out. I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel. I have always told myself I can get through things, when I only have to do it for a certain period of time. It is easier to know you can run the course when the course is only "X" long. Believing I would make it to age 53 was less likely when I was 15 than it was when I was 40. But in my current state I had primed myself with many "get through it" mile-markers.
Like, I could survive until someone found a job. That one worked pretty well. Only one job found, but better than none. However, getting through a couple of weeks til school started, turned into 6 weeks and now I find out that was misleading as actually there are an additional 2 weeks to go. Getting through a little more than a year has extended to 2 years as well. For the record, I feel I can't trust or count on anything anymore, not even myself. How does one talk themselves up to the level of I can do it only to find out the rules changed?
Now I don't mind following rules, but rules should be black and white. My world is pretty grey most of the time and I have learned to roll with the punches, but I think I have been sucker punched and I'm about ready to throw in the towel.
My head aches, my body aches, my mind aches, my heart aches and my soul is beginning to as well. My stress level is higher than it has been in years and my attempts to remedy that with my self healing techniques have been for naught. I feel better when I can some quiet time (praying, reading, studying, vegging) but that seems almost impossible. What time I do get as in this past half Saturday and Sunday was taken up by other responsibilities. Our lesson in Relief Society was on the true meaning of self-esteem and it came down to we need to care for and nourish ourselves. I was just beginning to learn how to do that. I feel that has been removed from me, perhaps for a later time or perhaps not at all. At this point I can't even imagine the possibility.
There are some realizations I now see as a result of my current living conditions. As they say "Hindsight is 20/20." Children should always be made known what is expected of them from both parents or both sets of parents, as the case may be. Parents should not be afraid of looking bad or losing the child's favor. This of course should alays be tempered with human respect and kindness. (A parent should never feel it it OK to mentally, physically or sexually abuse their child.) However, sometimes a "whoopin" does more to modify behavior than an unending amount of time outs. The expectations of children should always be known and present, even if those children are well into adulthood. Household rules should be continually spelled out, until children regardless of age know them and abide by them as well as their own name. If in the case of dual households, compromises should be limited at most and better off nonexistant. Learning to follow multiple sets of rules prepares a child for real life. (Look how our government operates.)
Most importantly, parents must always realize they will answer to a higher authority, at some point for the choices they made in raising their children to be socially acceptable and morally accountable. And if a parent is trying to make reconnection with a child for what ever reason at whatever age, parents should "talk the talk and walk the walk." Not every situation is supposed to be immediately recognized as a "win-win."
Yes, I full of a lot of regrets at the moment and still struggling with ideas to resolve the problems I too have helped make. It is not something I can accomplish alone. Even with spiritual help I can only go so far as my own acceptance of I have done what I can, the best that I can. A cooperative family group takes more than two, with one of those being the Spirit.
I can feel some of my pressure released through this writing. I am grateful for the space as I am grateful to those who read these thoughts. I still have a "situation" and it may get a whole lot worse before it gets better, but that in itself can be a sort of a mile-marker of sorts. I guess I will have to go back to just one day at a time for now and pray for the rest.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
It's Really Spring!!!
Well it really is Spring. We have had showers, and gusty winds and even some thunder.
And even though the sun is trying to shine it is down right chilly outside. And of course because the fruit blossoms are all earlier than usual, we should probably get a frost tonight and there goes a good fruit crop. The weather in other places in the US seems to be out of the ordinary. When we talked to Cindy, in Texas, on Easter, she said there was no church because the roads were closed due to snow. Now mind you central Texas closes the roads for what seems like a couple of snowflakes, so there may not have been much by standards of those of us in the plains or Rocky Mountains. And friends, Bob and Pam in Maine had a white Easter as well. It seems Mother Nature is experiencing some technical difficulties.
Personally, I don't believe the current weather patterns have anything to do with global warming. Personally, I'm not even totally sure I believe in global warming. I mean we have only been keeping records on weather conditions for 100-150 years, and the earth has been around considerably longer, so can we really know whether or not the world is warming to the point of extinction or if it just just part of a regular cycle. The trouble with the human mind is it has the human time frame. If for instance, temperature cycles run for thousands of years it would be impossible for us to know if this was global warming or not. Advances have been made in science and the abilities to calculate the mysteries of the universe keep getting better all time, however these in reality are still somewhat unknowns, theories, educated guesses. Despite rumors to the contrary, science is not exact, and that came from my chemistry professor.
I believe global warming is both fact and fiction. I do think our world is burning too much fossil fuel, cutting down too many trees and taking up too much green space. I think the population, in its hugeness, is creating atmospheric temperature increases. How could it not? Just think about a few children in one room, bouncing off the walls and the energy they create in doing so. Energy is heat and those hyperactive kids produce plenty of it. Now take that thought and multiply it by billions..... thus a rise in the earth's atmospheric temperature. I know that was pretty simplistic, but why complicate it.
I also believe Al Gore has put forth some good information, and has done so to make an impact in our way of thinking. Society needs a jolt of some kind. We are too un-resourceful, too wasteful, and too complacent. We have life too good and easy. We don't have to really work hard for anything and we don't care. The humanity that cares about these things and the humanity that could care less are not equitable in quantity.
The fact is we don't take care of our planet as good as we should or could. I am guilty as is everyone. I waste water doing dishes, laundry, gardening and the like.
I drive down to the grocery store when I could walk. I make multiple trips in my car instead of doing several errand s once a week. I let plants die because I don't get them replanted. I don't recycle everything I can and I don't buy only recycled products. But I do try to do better. I love blue skies and green meadows. I thank Heavenly Father for every green valley.
The thing is weather is unpredictable, deal with it the best we can. I grew up with a father who watched the TV forecasts, listened to the radio when TV wasn't an option, but always relied on his own instincts and previous experiences with natural signs. But he was always wise enough to know whatever the weather was doing at any given moment it would probably change, even drastically, in the next moment. But at the same time, I hope we all start paying more attention, teaching our children to pay more attention and impressing others to pay more attention to what we do to and how we treat our world.
April is "Earth Month," so to speak. "Earth Day" and various associated similar days during the month started in the late 1960's, the time of hippies and the "love and peace" generation. Our world, our society needs all the love and peace it can get right now in the present. Treating our home, our world, our terestrial(sp) gift with more peace and love is something everyone needs to work harder at. I am going to make a bigger effort. Are you?
And even though the sun is trying to shine it is down right chilly outside. And of course because the fruit blossoms are all earlier than usual, we should probably get a frost tonight and there goes a good fruit crop. The weather in other places in the US seems to be out of the ordinary. When we talked to Cindy, in Texas, on Easter, she said there was no church because the roads were closed due to snow. Now mind you central Texas closes the roads for what seems like a couple of snowflakes, so there may not have been much by standards of those of us in the plains or Rocky Mountains. And friends, Bob and Pam in Maine had a white Easter as well. It seems Mother Nature is experiencing some technical difficulties.
Personally, I don't believe the current weather patterns have anything to do with global warming. Personally, I'm not even totally sure I believe in global warming. I mean we have only been keeping records on weather conditions for 100-150 years, and the earth has been around considerably longer, so can we really know whether or not the world is warming to the point of extinction or if it just just part of a regular cycle. The trouble with the human mind is it has the human time frame. If for instance, temperature cycles run for thousands of years it would be impossible for us to know if this was global warming or not. Advances have been made in science and the abilities to calculate the mysteries of the universe keep getting better all time, however these in reality are still somewhat unknowns, theories, educated guesses. Despite rumors to the contrary, science is not exact, and that came from my chemistry professor.
I believe global warming is both fact and fiction. I do think our world is burning too much fossil fuel, cutting down too many trees and taking up too much green space. I think the population, in its hugeness, is creating atmospheric temperature increases. How could it not? Just think about a few children in one room, bouncing off the walls and the energy they create in doing so. Energy is heat and those hyperactive kids produce plenty of it. Now take that thought and multiply it by billions..... thus a rise in the earth's atmospheric temperature. I know that was pretty simplistic, but why complicate it.
I also believe Al Gore has put forth some good information, and has done so to make an impact in our way of thinking. Society needs a jolt of some kind. We are too un-resourceful, too wasteful, and too complacent. We have life too good and easy. We don't have to really work hard for anything and we don't care. The humanity that cares about these things and the humanity that could care less are not equitable in quantity.
The fact is we don't take care of our planet as good as we should or could. I am guilty as is everyone. I waste water doing dishes, laundry, gardening and the like.
I drive down to the grocery store when I could walk. I make multiple trips in my car instead of doing several errand s once a week. I let plants die because I don't get them replanted. I don't recycle everything I can and I don't buy only recycled products. But I do try to do better. I love blue skies and green meadows. I thank Heavenly Father for every green valley.
The thing is weather is unpredictable, deal with it the best we can. I grew up with a father who watched the TV forecasts, listened to the radio when TV wasn't an option, but always relied on his own instincts and previous experiences with natural signs. But he was always wise enough to know whatever the weather was doing at any given moment it would probably change, even drastically, in the next moment. But at the same time, I hope we all start paying more attention, teaching our children to pay more attention and impressing others to pay more attention to what we do to and how we treat our world.
April is "Earth Month," so to speak. "Earth Day" and various associated similar days during the month started in the late 1960's, the time of hippies and the "love and peace" generation. Our world, our society needs all the love and peace it can get right now in the present. Treating our home, our world, our terestrial(sp) gift with more peace and love is something everyone needs to work harder at. I am going to make a bigger effort. Are you?
Thursday, April 5, 2007
"......It's 4 in the morning.....dadum, dumm... dadumm,dumm"
There's an old country music song "It's 4 in the Morning" that is seeming quite appropriate right now, because it is 4 in the morning. I have been awake for about a couple hours now and would like to get sleepy enough to go back to bed before it is time to get up. All the "bloomin" trees, and you may take that however you like, have put my sinuses into quintessential overtime. I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!! And when I lay down I cough. I had a bit of what ever son, Bob and little granddaughter, Donna Jean , decided to share through their germs from this past week of visiting with us. But I thought it was under control, but I guess today's outing of going to Grandpa's work to see the cool fire engines and shopping for Bob's family stock-up, to take back to the mountains of Sublette County, WY may have put me over the top on head congestion and severe post nasal waterfall (that's when it is way more than a drip). I have been taking my allergy pill at bedtime and before I got up, like 2 something, I used the nose spray about 6 times.
I need sleep!!!
I have way too much to do Thursday to go around lethargic and exhausted!!! What am I talking about, it is Thursday, but I can't get busy on things I need to do because it would involve some noise and lights and there are others sleeping, like hubby; who has alrady been sleep deprived from lots of extra people in the house, my coming to bed late because of extra people in the house, and then coughing and snoritng and blowing......and well you get the picture. So, here I am in front of the computer screen, squinting from its brightness and crooking my neck to see the darkened keyboard and what I'm writing because I don't have my glasses on ........
Before I slough (or is it sluff) back to bed, one thought about human shortcomings.
Ever notice how we all complain about something in our lives that makes or made us feel small or insignificant. Or some way we or someone esle, were treated, which we make loud verbal protests about. I recently had chance to hear someone snap impatiently at a child, without any explanation to the child or any real reason for the attitude toward the child, other than egotsical selfishness on their part; then hear the same person just a few hours later expound on their total dislike and disgust of being treated similarly while growing up. (Small Note Here: At present their chroni;ogical age is still considerably young and their maturness is considerably even younger.) However, it is a good lesson for all. Why should we believe anyone else would like to be treated any less than we would ourselves? Regardless of age, station or whatever. Many times those who err have done so because of the examples provided to them. Maybe we should all stop concentrating on who did what to us and start concentrating on what and how we do to who.
I need sleep!!!
I have way too much to do Thursday to go around lethargic and exhausted!!! What am I talking about, it is Thursday, but I can't get busy on things I need to do because it would involve some noise and lights and there are others sleeping, like hubby; who has alrady been sleep deprived from lots of extra people in the house, my coming to bed late because of extra people in the house, and then coughing and snoritng and blowing......and well you get the picture. So, here I am in front of the computer screen, squinting from its brightness and crooking my neck to see the darkened keyboard and what I'm writing because I don't have my glasses on ........
Before I slough (or is it sluff) back to bed, one thought about human shortcomings.
Ever notice how we all complain about something in our lives that makes or made us feel small or insignificant. Or some way we or someone esle, were treated, which we make loud verbal protests about. I recently had chance to hear someone snap impatiently at a child, without any explanation to the child or any real reason for the attitude toward the child, other than egotsical selfishness on their part; then hear the same person just a few hours later expound on their total dislike and disgust of being treated similarly while growing up. (Small Note Here: At present their chroni;ogical age is still considerably young and their maturness is considerably even younger.) However, it is a good lesson for all. Why should we believe anyone else would like to be treated any less than we would ourselves? Regardless of age, station or whatever. Many times those who err have done so because of the examples provided to them. Maybe we should all stop concentrating on who did what to us and start concentrating on what and how we do to who.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
And Today's Bit of Wisdom Is...the blog please.
It had been several days since I have written and this will have to be short. My whole household has been in a bit of an uproar lately and just as things begin to slow down, something fuels the fire again and the roar rages. So for now I will just have to state, "holding a small cuddly bundle of a five week old infant and looking into the soft brown eyes of a puppy (a very large puppy) can make the worst day pretty much non-existant. Yes, I am a happy Grammi.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Same Stuff...... Different Day? Not Quite.
Well, it seems I have trouble being consistent. I started this blog with full intents of keeping up with it in a timely manner. Yes, the world is full of people with good intentions and look at what awful shape the world is in. It is not that I haven't wanted to write, it just has been more than chaotic around here. For those of you that know me well, you know my house can be like a 3 ring circus and never a dull moment. Well, the circus is in town again with the calliope at full steam.
I have been trying to to spring cleaning. Not just any spring cleaning but the really deep, "I haven't done this for so long it looks like I'm cave cleaning" cleaning. And I was getting a pretty good handle on it, too. But then some overcast days came along and my spirit became overcast as well. I had some of the biggest gray funkies I have ever had. So, I took a couple steps forward and about 5 steps back, 8 steps to the left and a good prat fall down. Spirit wise, the reemergence of Spring has helped and I'm struggling in the right direction again, but not without hurdles and I have never been much of an athlete.
Last Sunday, we made a rescue trip to Inkom, ID. Youngest son, Ben and his girl, Tish, were en route from Boise to here to begin re-nesting our empty nest. They had packed their belongings all day on Friday and Saturday and were planning on leaving around 10 PM or so and driving all night, even though they had been given parental advice not to. Leaving at closer to midnight than 10 PM, they set out with Ben driving the giant UHaul with Tish's car on a dolly in tow and Tish following behind in Ben's 86 full size Bronco. Dad and I left the light on and went to bed.
Upon arising Sunday morn, the porch light was still on and no sign of the kids. Around 8, Ben called to say they had got as far as Burley and just couldn't stay awake any longer. Even by then they had been pushing it, but were unaccustomed to the drive and missed earlier exits.
They had slept in the truck in the Wally World lot, had just woken up and were taking care of essential needs, bathroom, food, gas (for the truck), and would head out and see us probably around noon. (Yes, youth has a lot of optimsm.) We figured we would catch Sacrament Meeting at church and come on back home to find them pulling in. But, just as I head for my blow dryer the sound of Dad's answering the phone with "Hunters'......Is she alright?!?!?!?!?" stopped me in my tracks. They had left Burley, passed the I-84 exit, continued on to Pocatello and gone south on I-15, were just past Inkom, when the Bronco swerved and Tish overcorrected, pinball bounced off the guardrail and spun around on the freeway. Luckily, she only had a few scrapes and bruises and a deep wound of humilialtion. The Bronco however, fared less well. It was incapable of being driven any further. After, some more discussion, several more phone calls on both ends and more discussion, it was determined (by the sage parents) we would go help them change out the tow dolly with the Bronco and the little car and drive the UHaul truck back to UT.
Dad and I made pretty good time up there, I was driving of course. After recontacting the towers, who had put the Bronco in their impound lot, we struggled and got it on the tow dolly and eventually strapped on. (Please Note: Struggled is about as nice as I can put this, use your own imagination to come up with a fitting description.) Dad takes his postion behind the wheel of the UHaul truck w/tow dolly and we're off! For at least a few miles, anyway. I have taken point, followed by the UHaul/dolly, and Tish driving with Ben in her little car. Dad and Ben are in communication by way of walkie talkies and Ben can call me using the cell phones, when he has service. About 5-10 miles out, Dad thinks he remembers something about dropping the drive line on rear wheel drive vehicles, but to be safe I need to call other son, Bob in Wyoming, to be sure. (Bob is our family mechanic or at the very least advisor.) Bob says yes or Ben will have to replace his new transmission. Emergency lanes in Idaho seem to be littered by Hunter family tracks as it seems we are always pulling off and stopping, and fixing or attempting to fix.
After struggling again (please refer to previous note) we get back on the road for the l-o-n-g trip home. Finally, after traffic, speed and construction struggles (again, please refer to previous note) we get home about 6:45 PM. With no chance to unload to the storage unit, we detemine we will just leave evrything parked on the street until we come up with what to do next, some rest, catching up on missed meals or whatever.
Monday morning and the sun has brightened us. Ben begins online searching for Bronco parts, UHaul drop off information and a list of other things. I try to find out how to contact a good body repairman. And Tish begins unloading things to be left here at the house. Dad it seems thinks going to his office is more important so leaves.
As the day progresses it too contiunes to get longer and longer, just as yesterday had done. We drove the UHaul/dolly to Provo and back to Orem, had to have SIL James help us out with a truck form his work, had someone run into the back of the empty tow dolly, got sun burned, slowly emptied the truck contents, finally got the truck/dolly dropped off at 6 PM and came home. Again, to say whatever, after fixing dinner.
Tuesday, again lots of internet searching, phone calls and more "struggles." My brain is getting fuzzy to details for Tuesday and Wednesday.
Yesterday, Jim flew to Colo. Springs, CO for a meeting today and I'll pick him up this afternoon. Ben and Tish are going to take the other things they don't have room for here over to the storage unit ( it will make walking through the house much easier) andI am hoping to get back to some organizing and cleaning downstairs, so that hopefully there will be room for Bob, Teresa, RJ, Donna, Baby Kenzie and German Shepard Sassy to come for a few days this next week.
So if you are looking for some excitement to your otherwise quiet life, please come on over, we would love to see you...... hopefully through the cloudy haze of chaos!!!
I have been trying to to spring cleaning. Not just any spring cleaning but the really deep, "I haven't done this for so long it looks like I'm cave cleaning" cleaning. And I was getting a pretty good handle on it, too. But then some overcast days came along and my spirit became overcast as well. I had some of the biggest gray funkies I have ever had. So, I took a couple steps forward and about 5 steps back, 8 steps to the left and a good prat fall down. Spirit wise, the reemergence of Spring has helped and I'm struggling in the right direction again, but not without hurdles and I have never been much of an athlete.
Last Sunday, we made a rescue trip to Inkom, ID. Youngest son, Ben and his girl, Tish, were en route from Boise to here to begin re-nesting our empty nest. They had packed their belongings all day on Friday and Saturday and were planning on leaving around 10 PM or so and driving all night, even though they had been given parental advice not to. Leaving at closer to midnight than 10 PM, they set out with Ben driving the giant UHaul with Tish's car on a dolly in tow and Tish following behind in Ben's 86 full size Bronco. Dad and I left the light on and went to bed.
Upon arising Sunday morn, the porch light was still on and no sign of the kids. Around 8, Ben called to say they had got as far as Burley and just couldn't stay awake any longer. Even by then they had been pushing it, but were unaccustomed to the drive and missed earlier exits.
They had slept in the truck in the Wally World lot, had just woken up and were taking care of essential needs, bathroom, food, gas (for the truck), and would head out and see us probably around noon. (Yes, youth has a lot of optimsm.) We figured we would catch Sacrament Meeting at church and come on back home to find them pulling in. But, just as I head for my blow dryer the sound of Dad's answering the phone with "Hunters'......Is she alright?!?!?!?!?" stopped me in my tracks. They had left Burley, passed the I-84 exit, continued on to Pocatello and gone south on I-15, were just past Inkom, when the Bronco swerved and Tish overcorrected, pinball bounced off the guardrail and spun around on the freeway. Luckily, she only had a few scrapes and bruises and a deep wound of humilialtion. The Bronco however, fared less well. It was incapable of being driven any further. After, some more discussion, several more phone calls on both ends and more discussion, it was determined (by the sage parents) we would go help them change out the tow dolly with the Bronco and the little car and drive the UHaul truck back to UT.
Dad and I made pretty good time up there, I was driving of course. After recontacting the towers, who had put the Bronco in their impound lot, we struggled and got it on the tow dolly and eventually strapped on. (Please Note: Struggled is about as nice as I can put this, use your own imagination to come up with a fitting description.) Dad takes his postion behind the wheel of the UHaul truck w/tow dolly and we're off! For at least a few miles, anyway. I have taken point, followed by the UHaul/dolly, and Tish driving with Ben in her little car. Dad and Ben are in communication by way of walkie talkies and Ben can call me using the cell phones, when he has service. About 5-10 miles out, Dad thinks he remembers something about dropping the drive line on rear wheel drive vehicles, but to be safe I need to call other son, Bob in Wyoming, to be sure. (Bob is our family mechanic or at the very least advisor.) Bob says yes or Ben will have to replace his new transmission. Emergency lanes in Idaho seem to be littered by Hunter family tracks as it seems we are always pulling off and stopping, and fixing or attempting to fix.
After struggling again (please refer to previous note) we get back on the road for the l-o-n-g trip home. Finally, after traffic, speed and construction struggles (again, please refer to previous note) we get home about 6:45 PM. With no chance to unload to the storage unit, we detemine we will just leave evrything parked on the street until we come up with what to do next, some rest, catching up on missed meals or whatever.
Monday morning and the sun has brightened us. Ben begins online searching for Bronco parts, UHaul drop off information and a list of other things. I try to find out how to contact a good body repairman. And Tish begins unloading things to be left here at the house. Dad it seems thinks going to his office is more important so leaves.
As the day progresses it too contiunes to get longer and longer, just as yesterday had done. We drove the UHaul/dolly to Provo and back to Orem, had to have SIL James help us out with a truck form his work, had someone run into the back of the empty tow dolly, got sun burned, slowly emptied the truck contents, finally got the truck/dolly dropped off at 6 PM and came home. Again, to say whatever, after fixing dinner.
Tuesday, again lots of internet searching, phone calls and more "struggles." My brain is getting fuzzy to details for Tuesday and Wednesday.
Yesterday, Jim flew to Colo. Springs, CO for a meeting today and I'll pick him up this afternoon. Ben and Tish are going to take the other things they don't have room for here over to the storage unit ( it will make walking through the house much easier) andI am hoping to get back to some organizing and cleaning downstairs, so that hopefully there will be room for Bob, Teresa, RJ, Donna, Baby Kenzie and German Shepard Sassy to come for a few days this next week.
So if you are looking for some excitement to your otherwise quiet life, please come on over, we would love to see you...... hopefully through the cloudy haze of chaos!!!
Monday, March 5, 2007
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Lose
I guess I must accept the invetible. Sigh....., it's going and quicker than I'd like.
I got on the computer after church and meetings yesterday, specifically to make a post to this blog, but I couldn't remember my user id and password. I tried everything I could think of for over 20 minutes and not one of them worked. Little did I know, I had the corrrect user id and password just not in the right sequence. With an exhale of disgust, shoulders slumped in dispair and my self confidence already closing the bathroom door, I remembered I had saved the email verification in my "Clubs " file of my inbox. Halelujah!!!! Salvation from my dimishing brain cells! (Don't those genius geek types refer to that as a type of backdoor technique.)
Quickly clicking over to my open "Outlook" and scrolling down to the "Clubs" file I dropped all the way down to the end of the alphabetical list and clicked "Yahoo". To my astonishment the verification was not there. I searched again, but no, I hadn't filed it! Frantically, I went back to my "Inbox" back to Friday's mail, searching; then searching Thursday's, Saturday's again and again.
Great, just great! What kind of an idiot starts a blog, tells her friends and family and then can't get access to it ever again? Only a demented, senile, dummy! (Yes, I can be pretty hard on myself and that was just the Sunday correct language.)
My head plunged downward in hopelessness. I felt as though I had been turned out into a black hole. Starting a blog is not rocket science. I work on the computer every day. I have been doing most of my finances on the computer for several years now. I know I am usually a competent and fairly intelligent person. Where did I go wrong? I rehashed everything over in my mind, step by step, process by process, and yet I couldn't solve this dilemma.
Since by this time more than an hour had gone by, I gave up. I forced my disappoinment, confusion and incapability to the dungeon of my mind and with an aura of sadness began to focus on a Food Network program.
After a news program, shuffling some papers, a couple HGTV porgrams and bedtime prayers I called it a day and went off to bed with no thought to my unacomplishment. Earlier, between the food show and the news, I had resolved I would call B-Jo and plead for compassion for her dingy mother. (She's so good at helping me figure out my ineptitudes.) So, I slipped under the covers and drifted off peacefully.
Then about 3 hours later, as I rolled over to get re-comfortable and realizing that would not be achieved until I got up and went to the bathroom, it hit me! Not like a ton of bricks, more like the "I could've had a V-8" head slap. Duh.....it was "Google" not "Yahoo"!!!!!
If I am going to regain things in the middle of the night when I am supposed to be sleeping, all I can say is I am going to be extremely sleep deprived.
Can we say "Nap"? ;)
I got on the computer after church and meetings yesterday, specifically to make a post to this blog, but I couldn't remember my user id and password. I tried everything I could think of for over 20 minutes and not one of them worked. Little did I know, I had the corrrect user id and password just not in the right sequence. With an exhale of disgust, shoulders slumped in dispair and my self confidence already closing the bathroom door, I remembered I had saved the email verification in my "Clubs " file of my inbox. Halelujah!!!! Salvation from my dimishing brain cells! (Don't those genius geek types refer to that as a type of backdoor technique.)
Quickly clicking over to my open "Outlook" and scrolling down to the "Clubs" file I dropped all the way down to the end of the alphabetical list and clicked "Yahoo". To my astonishment the verification was not there. I searched again, but no, I hadn't filed it! Frantically, I went back to my "Inbox" back to Friday's mail, searching; then searching Thursday's, Saturday's again and again.
Great, just great! What kind of an idiot starts a blog, tells her friends and family and then can't get access to it ever again? Only a demented, senile, dummy! (Yes, I can be pretty hard on myself and that was just the Sunday correct language.)
My head plunged downward in hopelessness. I felt as though I had been turned out into a black hole. Starting a blog is not rocket science. I work on the computer every day. I have been doing most of my finances on the computer for several years now. I know I am usually a competent and fairly intelligent person. Where did I go wrong? I rehashed everything over in my mind, step by step, process by process, and yet I couldn't solve this dilemma.
Since by this time more than an hour had gone by, I gave up. I forced my disappoinment, confusion and incapability to the dungeon of my mind and with an aura of sadness began to focus on a Food Network program.
After a news program, shuffling some papers, a couple HGTV porgrams and bedtime prayers I called it a day and went off to bed with no thought to my unacomplishment. Earlier, between the food show and the news, I had resolved I would call B-Jo and plead for compassion for her dingy mother. (She's so good at helping me figure out my ineptitudes.) So, I slipped under the covers and drifted off peacefully.
Then about 3 hours later, as I rolled over to get re-comfortable and realizing that would not be achieved until I got up and went to the bathroom, it hit me! Not like a ton of bricks, more like the "I could've had a V-8" head slap. Duh.....it was "Google" not "Yahoo"!!!!!
If I am going to regain things in the middle of the night when I am supposed to be sleeping, all I can say is I am going to be extremely sleep deprived.
Can we say "Nap"? ;)
Friday, March 2, 2007
This Should Be Fun.....Hopefully
Well after much consideration I have decided to start my own 'blog', but I'm not sure why. That will remain to be seen. To begin, I don't think this will be very interesting, but I hope that as time goes on it will get better. That's a lot like me because I hope I am getting better as time goes on. And you can take that however you'd like. Personally, I can think of several areas where I hope I am getting better.
What is typed here may not sound very wise to some, but then it is my blog and I can decide what I thinks counts as wisdom or not. So I suppose for this my very first blog entry I should include some sage words. Hmmmmm........
Ok, here goes.
"Every part of every day is part of our lifetest. The last ten minutes may have been just a short answer question, while later this afternoon we may experience a comprehensive essay, and don't ever forget the continual pop quizes; we are all being tested on our being. And though most of us would really rather do almost anything than take a test, the final grade here is eternally crucial. Remember to enjoy the easy parts, true/false, multiple choice, and be grateful for the opportunity to show what you know on the rest."
What is typed here may not sound very wise to some, but then it is my blog and I can decide what I thinks counts as wisdom or not. So I suppose for this my very first blog entry I should include some sage words. Hmmmmm........
Ok, here goes.
"Every part of every day is part of our lifetest. The last ten minutes may have been just a short answer question, while later this afternoon we may experience a comprehensive essay, and don't ever forget the continual pop quizes; we are all being tested on our being. And though most of us would really rather do almost anything than take a test, the final grade here is eternally crucial. Remember to enjoy the easy parts, true/false, multiple choice, and be grateful for the opportunity to show what you know on the rest."
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